As you may know, I've been temping as of late. Right now, I'm on a 3-week assignment in a southwest suburb doing something vaguely data-entryish in a huge corporation. All of us drones file in at 7AM every morning and sit down at our computers and type, type, type away. Our job is security-sensitive, so we are escorted to the work area in the morning, and we can't get in or out with out a badge. Most of my fellow temps are respectable folk, recently laid off from various jobs. Everyone is fairly chill, except for the Annoying Guy, who I have dubbed Big Tuna, because of The Office and how annoying guy Andy calls Jim Big Tuna. I know it's a bit of a reversal, but I needed a code name to refer to Annoying Guy when I talked to Prince Charming on the phone about all of Annoying Guy's annoyingness. It was the best I could do in the spur of the moment.
So, Big Tuna it is.
Big Tuna entered this project a bit later than the rest of us. He replaced the nice, quiet girl who sat in the cube next to me. Big Tuna strides in on his first day and promptly tells me I'm stupid for taking my car to the dealership instead of letting his cousin down in Champlin do it for me. Um, no thanks. Then, he starts bemoaning the fact that he has a bachelor's degree, and he has had to lower himself to temping. He asked me if I had my degree yet, and I told him I had my masters and he was like, wow, you must feel really bad. I told him that I actually like temping (and I kind of do like it, surprisingly) and he told me I was crazy.
Big Tuna is a master of comedy. When I came in after a break, he was all like, "Oh, hey, here she is, everyone stop talking about her!!!" I was like, OMG, you are just a riot.
Then, he asked me how much it cost me to go to grad school. I told him it was free, and then he asked how that happened. I told him that the MFA is selective, but everyone gets funding. He then said, "Well that oughta make a girl feel good."
I told him it did indeed make a girl feel good.
Then he asked me what I wrote my thesis about. I told him Pennsylvania, because I really didn't feel like giving Big Tuna a crash course in eating disorders.
Big Tuna accused me of being unfriendly because I actually wanted to do my work instead of make small talk with him. He told everyone I wasn't interested in being social.
When confronted by the Big Tuna and his questions and witticisms, I found myself wanting to make up elaborate lies. Like, I wanted to tell him I'm recovering from agoraphobia and that I'm really shy. I wanted to tell him I'm from Oklahoma and that I have two small children.
Today, Big Tuna pushed me over that proverbial edge. I was already overcaffeinated and a bit tweaked out. Big Tuna had folded one of those plastic coffee stirrers in half and was rubbing it over his teeth and it made the most horrible sound ever. He picked his teeth with it. He also stuck his name badge in his mouth (they're laminated) and sucked on it, and used it as a form of dental floss. It was so gross and it was really hard not to blatantly stare at him. It was sickening.
It made me hate. HATE.
I tried moving my computer and keyboard as far away from him as possible. I tried covering my ears. But I couldn't block the sound of the sucking and the scraping.
It's like he thought his teeth were a xylophone and the coffee stirrer his mallet.
THE GERMS.
Big Tuna also has an inhaler and he uses it improperly. When using a rescue inhaler, you're supposed to exhale as much as possible before inhaling the inhaler contents. Big Tuna just puffed on it. Why bother?
During every break, I ranted to Prince Charming about Big Tuna.
After Big Tuna left for the day, I begged my supervisor to let me listen to my iPod to block the auditory annoyance, but that was a security risk. So then I begged her to move me from the realm of Big Tuna and his anxiety-inducing behavior. And she did. She too had noticed the teeth scraping.
Tomorrow, Big Tuna will saunter in and find me on the other side of the room. And some poor sucker will be ready to punch him in the face by the end of the day.
Oh, and the best part of all of this is that I kept notes on Big Tuna's ridiculousness, so that I could write this blog. I kept them in my planner, and at 7:07AM, Big Tuna caught me redhanded, writing about him.
Also, I'm fairly certain he ripped a silent-but-deadly tsunami of a fart yesterday morning.
Disclaimer: I know I do annoying shit too. I pick and chew my cuticles. I spin back and forth in my office chair. But, I don't verbally accost my coworkers. I like to believe I have some social skills.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The Ice Scraper Threat
One of the many reasons I would never want to be a Metro Transit driver...
Ice Scraper Threat Puts Driver In The Hot Seat
By LORA PABST, Star Tribune
Last update: October 17, 2009 - 8:07 AM
When confronted with unruly passengers, Metro Transit bus drivers don't have many choices. They can't swear. They can't fight back. They can't even get out of their seats. But for decades, they've kept one tool by their side year-round as a deterrent to would-be attackers -- their trusty ice scraper.
Drivers say they need the scrapers to scare off passengers who might try to start a confrontation. Metro Transit says one of those confrontations has caused them to rethink whether scrapers should be kept on board.
Driver Paul Kiefner, a 15-year veteran with Metro Transit, was fired in March after he threatened a combative passenger with his ice scraper. The passenger grabbed Kiefner's glasses, poked him in the eye and threw the glasses on the dashboard as he ran off the bus.
Kiefner said he didn't see the passenger return his glasses, so he charged off the bus to get them back. He raised his scraper in defense as the passenger tackled and punched him. The incident cost Kiefner his job and earned him a disorderly conduct charge. His attacker, who has a long list of criminal convictions, subsequently landed in the county jail on an unrelated charge.
A state arbitrator, in a decision made public this week, overturned the firing. He ordered Kiefner's punishment to be reduced to a 10-day unpaid suspension, comparable to the punishments for three drivers involved in similar incidents, including a driver who tackled a passenger during an altercation and another driver who chased a passenger for six blocks.
Michelle Sommers, president of Amalgamated Transit Union Local 1005, said most bus drivers do not use their ice scraper as a weapon when they are threatened, but she supports keeping them on board.
"You're an easy target," she said. "You're sitting in a seat. You can't defend yourself."
Metro Transit spokesman Bob Gibbons said Kiefner showed poor judgment.
"Bus operators are expected to use the power of their voice, the power of persuasion and the radio telephone to call for help,'' Gibbons said.
Violence escalates quickly
Kiefner, 57, has been hit and spit on several times during his career. On March 9, he was driving his route through downtown Minneapolis around 3 p.m. when a man walked in front of the bus and waved his arms.
Kiefner said he couldn't stop in the middle of the road, so he let the man on a block away. Right away, the passenger began making abusive comments.
"I knew he was looking for a problem," Kiefner said Friday. "You go to work every day and you have to worry about somebody punching you or spitting on you for nothing other than doing your job."
Kiefner has completed training and is allowed to carry pepper spray on his route. He showed it to the passenger, who said that he would need more than that for protection, according to the arbitrator's ruling.
When the man got off about 45 minutes later, he started calling Kiefner derogatory names. Kiefner responded angrily, threatening to beat him if he didn't shut up. Then he picked up his industrial-sized ice scraper, adding he wouldn't hesitate to use it.
After reviewing a videotape of the incident, Metro Transit officials became convinced that Kiefner was too aggressive. They thought he jumped off bus to retaliate, and that he was swinging his scraper in a threatening manner.
Kiefner said that because of previous problems on the job, including washing his bus without management approval, he was subject to strict employment conditions that allow Metro Transit to fire him for lying on the job. Managers used that power in this case, claiming he was lying when he said he got off the bus to retrieve his glasses.
The arbitrator disagreed, finding no proof Kiefner was lying.
Kiefner is expecting to return to work in early November. He received back pay minus the 10-day unpaid suspension, and he'll have to go through a day of retraining. He is still facing the disorderly conduct charge, but he says he feels vindicated by the arbitrator's ruling
Gibbons said the company is working on a policy related to ice scrapers, including whether the scrapers should be kept on buses year round. The current model features a hardwood handle with a 5-inch blade.
"It's a hefty instrument," Gibbons said. "Maybe there's something that can scrape ice that doesn't need to be so bulky and intimidating."
www.startribune.com
Ice Scraper Threat Puts Driver In The Hot Seat
By LORA PABST, Star Tribune
Last update: October 17, 2009 - 8:07 AM
When confronted with unruly passengers, Metro Transit bus drivers don't have many choices. They can't swear. They can't fight back. They can't even get out of their seats. But for decades, they've kept one tool by their side year-round as a deterrent to would-be attackers -- their trusty ice scraper.
Drivers say they need the scrapers to scare off passengers who might try to start a confrontation. Metro Transit says one of those confrontations has caused them to rethink whether scrapers should be kept on board.
Driver Paul Kiefner, a 15-year veteran with Metro Transit, was fired in March after he threatened a combative passenger with his ice scraper. The passenger grabbed Kiefner's glasses, poked him in the eye and threw the glasses on the dashboard as he ran off the bus.
Kiefner said he didn't see the passenger return his glasses, so he charged off the bus to get them back. He raised his scraper in defense as the passenger tackled and punched him. The incident cost Kiefner his job and earned him a disorderly conduct charge. His attacker, who has a long list of criminal convictions, subsequently landed in the county jail on an unrelated charge.
A state arbitrator, in a decision made public this week, overturned the firing. He ordered Kiefner's punishment to be reduced to a 10-day unpaid suspension, comparable to the punishments for three drivers involved in similar incidents, including a driver who tackled a passenger during an altercation and another driver who chased a passenger for six blocks.
Michelle Sommers, president of Amalgamated Transit Union Local 1005, said most bus drivers do not use their ice scraper as a weapon when they are threatened, but she supports keeping them on board.
"You're an easy target," she said. "You're sitting in a seat. You can't defend yourself."
Metro Transit spokesman Bob Gibbons said Kiefner showed poor judgment.
"Bus operators are expected to use the power of their voice, the power of persuasion and the radio telephone to call for help,'' Gibbons said.
Violence escalates quickly
Kiefner, 57, has been hit and spit on several times during his career. On March 9, he was driving his route through downtown Minneapolis around 3 p.m. when a man walked in front of the bus and waved his arms.
Kiefner said he couldn't stop in the middle of the road, so he let the man on a block away. Right away, the passenger began making abusive comments.
"I knew he was looking for a problem," Kiefner said Friday. "You go to work every day and you have to worry about somebody punching you or spitting on you for nothing other than doing your job."
Kiefner has completed training and is allowed to carry pepper spray on his route. He showed it to the passenger, who said that he would need more than that for protection, according to the arbitrator's ruling.
When the man got off about 45 minutes later, he started calling Kiefner derogatory names. Kiefner responded angrily, threatening to beat him if he didn't shut up. Then he picked up his industrial-sized ice scraper, adding he wouldn't hesitate to use it.
After reviewing a videotape of the incident, Metro Transit officials became convinced that Kiefner was too aggressive. They thought he jumped off bus to retaliate, and that he was swinging his scraper in a threatening manner.
Kiefner said that because of previous problems on the job, including washing his bus without management approval, he was subject to strict employment conditions that allow Metro Transit to fire him for lying on the job. Managers used that power in this case, claiming he was lying when he said he got off the bus to retrieve his glasses.
The arbitrator disagreed, finding no proof Kiefner was lying.
Kiefner is expecting to return to work in early November. He received back pay minus the 10-day unpaid suspension, and he'll have to go through a day of retraining. He is still facing the disorderly conduct charge, but he says he feels vindicated by the arbitrator's ruling
Gibbons said the company is working on a policy related to ice scrapers, including whether the scrapers should be kept on buses year round. The current model features a hardwood handle with a 5-inch blade.
"It's a hefty instrument," Gibbons said. "Maybe there's something that can scrape ice that doesn't need to be so bulky and intimidating."
www.startribune.com
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Big Hair In The Animal Kingdom
Prince Charming sent me this picture this morning. It's actually an angora rabbit. I thought it was some sort of overgrown cat.Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/9-weirdest-looking-animal_n_317907.html?slidenumber=5#slide_image
Monday, October 12, 2009
Snowy Monday
The first snow actually did materialize this morning. It was a veritable winter wonderland outside. We had to scrape the Neon (and by we, I mean Prince Charming...I was busy taking pics with my cell phone and texting them to people).This was the earliest snowfall I've ever seen in my life. In fact, it even beats Erie.
It makes me wonder what kind of winter we're going to have.
Photo: www.kare11.com
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The First Snow
It snowed this morning and the temperature was only 34 degrees at noon. I love it! Prince Charming and I just watched the 10PM news and our favorite meteorologist, Sven Sundgaard of KARE-11, told us that we MIGHT be included in a winter storm watch that is being issued for Monday. Regardless, we WILL be getting more snow on Monday. So much snow that the AM and PM rush are going to be slow going.
It's the second earliest recorded snowfall in Twin Cities history.
And I think it rocks.
It's the second earliest recorded snowfall in Twin Cities history.
And I think it rocks.
King Of The Road
My new boots really hurt my feet while we were shopping at the Mall of America tonight, so Prince Charming went and got the car while I hobbled out to the nearest entrance (the Prince is such a gentleman). I sat down on a bench and I heard a "sppllffttt" sound. I turned around, and saw that the guy behind me was wearing a red jacket that said KING OF THE ROAD. While turned around, I heard the King rip another huge fart. After farting he kind of chuckled a bit. I went outside and waited for the Prince to pull up in the Neon.
Bedazzled In Nordstrom Rack
Prince Charming and I ventured to the Mall of America today, and while hunting for business casual, I overheard this verbal gem:
"I really like this shirt, but it's all bedazzled and shit."
"I really like this shirt, but it's all bedazzled and shit."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
